Strong values... help or hinderance?

I have always been a person with strong values and ideas.  One of my values is that of equality and women's rights.  Growing up my Dad travelled a lot for work, as a result it was often just my Mom at home.  My Mom is an amazingly strong woman.  She has taught me many life lessons, but one of the most important lessons she taught me was that I could do anything I wanted to.  She taught me to be independent and stand on my own two feet.  She (and some others) have shown me that I do not have to conform to societies gender stereotypes.  I have always been supported in all I have done in life.  I was supported and loved as a child when I chose to be a tom boy for a very long time (some joked that I was the son my parents never had).  I did not have to wear dresses, stay quiet and always be on my best behaviour.  In fact I was encourage to try new things, get dirty and have fun.  I have never been told that as a woman I need to stay at home and take care of a family when I grow up.  I was never raised to think that the kitchen is where a woman belongs.  I am extremely grateful for all of the support and freedom I was given while growing up (and still today).  As a result of my upbringing I have a very strong belief in equality between all people on earth (especially equality between genders).  

Last night as I was walking home from a party I had a very interesting/personally frustrating and infuriating conversation with a boy from my residence.  (For the sake of this entry I will call the boy Jack.)  It was very cold outside and I did not have gloves on, and as a result my hand was getting very cold from holding my water bottle.   Jack was wearing gloves and offered to carry it for me so I would be able to put my hands into my pockets.  I was very grateful for this and took him up on his offer.  As we continued to walk home my feet began to hurt due to the fact i was wearing 3 inch heel boots.  As we approached the door of our building I said "Thanks for carrying my water bottle for me.  I can take it back now."  I thought this was a logical suggestion since we had basically reached our destination, but apparently not.  I was told "Men are supposed to carry things for women, women are not as strong as men."  This statement through me for a loop.  I really did not know how to respond to this.  Such blatant sexism is relatively foreign to me.  We continued up the stairs in silence because I did not know what to say.  When we got through the door I was very quick to say "Wait a minute, I want to take my heels off before we climb 4 flights of stairs. My feet are really sore."  The response I received to this was even more off putting then the previous comment "Why do you have to take them off? Your feet shouldn't hurt.  Women should naturally be able to walk in heels, just like they should naturally be able to cook and clean.  It is just what women do." Again I was caught off guard and did not know how to respond at first.  All I managed to get out before we went our separate ways was "You have got to be kidding, I cannot believe you actually said that." 

This experience made me feel irritated and belittled.  However I reflected on it the rest of the night and all of today.  It made me realize again how strong my values and life views are.  It also made me think about going away to Ghana this summer.  I am going to live in a country where women are not seen as equal, where women do not have the same privileges and opportunities as men.  I knew this before, but I had never really spent a lot of time reflecting on it.  The reality of my future situation this summer suddenly hit me, hard.  What if in Fotobi I experience discrimination based on my gender? How will I react if I am told that I should not be doing something because I am a girl?  

My reflections brought me back to class last semester and our discussion about pushing our beliefs and values onto others.  I know that it is not good or helpful to push foreign values onto others.  It is egocentric of me to assume my way of life is better then others, and it would be  obnoxious to tell others how to live when I am a guest in their village.  It would be like going to someone's house and telling them that their way of decorating is not right and they should decorate more like you.  I am very respectful of other peoples opinions, but I honestly do not know what I would do if I was told to stay behind/inside because I am a girl.  I have a feeling that I will have an earlier curfew due to the fact that I am a girl, and I will adjust to this and deal with it, but it will be strange and foreign to me.  This is yet another way that this summer will push me and challenge me.  It will expose me to new ways of life and and different ways of viewing the world.  I hope that this summer will expand my understanding of different world views an culture.  

Moral of my story, I have very strong views and values and this summer is really going to challenge me.  I am going to struggle with the different status that women hold in Africa.  It will be hard for me to hold my tongue in situations where women are being put down or belittled.  This summer will be a challenge in more way then one, but I strongly believe that it will help me grow as a person and expand my world views.