What would you do differently if you could do it all again?

Life is something that moves quickly, you get into a routine and it just goes.  Time starts to go by more quickly with every passing year.  This is just the way things are, and it is a rare thing that we stop and reflect on life, about what we truly want to do until it is to late.  This weekend I heard the song Live like you were dying by Tim McGraw on the radio and it got me thinking about reflecting on life, especially before it is to late.  I do not want to go through life stuck in the rut of a routine, not taking time to "smell the roses".  All to often in life taking time out of our busy days seems like such an imposition.  We do not take time to stay connected, we dash from place to place without really enjoying what we are doing, we are always dwelling on the past or worrying about the future (we rarely take time to be fully in the present moment).  

This past week I have been reflecting on different aspects of my life, and critically reflecting if my life as it is right now is what I would want it to be if I were to die tomorrow.  It is silly to put things off until tomorrow because we never know how many tomorrows we have, or how many tomorrows those we love have.  I have decided that some things need to change in my life.  School will still be a priority in my life, however its position of importance will no longer make me miss out on other things life has to offer.  I want to experience all of the different things that life has to offer.  I do not want to realize in 20 years that all I did in university was keep my head in my books.  In 20 years I will most likely not remember the paper that is due in two weeks that I have yet to begin, I am much more likely to remember the relationships that I have with people.  I have realized that the world will not fall apart if I do not check my email every 30 minutes.  I do not always need to have my cell phone on me.  People in the past survived without cell phones and instant communication, why do we feel so disconnected and isolated now if we do not have these things? We have heard from health providers that one glass of wine a day is good for your health.  Is it really the wine that is good for you? or is it the fact that you have taken that time out of your day to sit down and have a glass of wine, maybe while chatting with a friend.  I do not think that it is the wine that helps, it is the slowing down and taking the time to connect and form good interpersonal relationships.  

I have realized that there is no knowing what will happen in the future, this year alone 4 people who I live with at school have lost a parent, and multiple others have been diagnosed with cancer or other very serious diseases.  You never know how many days you have left with people, or how many days you yourself have left.  I have decided to make everyday count.  I do not want to go to bed leaving things undone, leaving things unsaid.  I do not want to have any regrets later.  This is not to say that I will not make mistakes in life and possibly regret something that I did, but I do not want to leave something unsaid or undone and always be left wondering "what if".  Sometimes it is the small things that can make all of the difference in a persons day.  One smile can truly change someone's life.  

So stop putting things off, waiting until you have life under control, because by the time you feel things are under control it may be to late.  Start living your life today.  Dream like you will live forever and live like you will die tomorrow.  Put yourself out there.  Get dirty, experience everything.  But most important build and foster relationships with those around you.  Become involved with the community, and cherish every moment! 

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - By Erma Bombeck (written after she found out she was dying of cancer)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over for dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. 

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. 

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.  

I would have never bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later.  Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would be more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.' 

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it... live it and never give it back.  STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.  Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.  

Never ending divisions... is there still hope?

"The world has been created for everyone's use, but you few rich are trying to keep it for yourselves.  For not merely the possession of the earth, but the very sky, the air, and the sea are claimed for the use of the rich few... The earth belongs to all, not just to the rich."   

This is a very interesting quote that I came across this weekend while I was at home.  When do you think it was written?  It most definitely sounds like something we would hear said today in a time when many people have decided to work towards "ending global poverty", in a time when many are becoming more involved in social activism.  It makes sense that this would be said now in a time were the division between the rich and the poor simply continues to grow and has become a vast divide.  Venture a guess, when do you think the above quote was written? 

Ambrose of Milan wrote these powerful words in De Nabuthe 3 (Early History of Greed) which was written between 340-97.  When I first read the quote I immediately thought it was a recent quote.  When I found out when it was actually written I felt very shaken inside.  This was written so long ago, yet it seems to be the same situation today.  Has anything really changed? Or has the problem gotten worse? There is no denying the fact in the past 50 years the gap has grown.  How do we maintain hope in a seemingly hopeless situation where no apparent change has happened in over 1500 years? 

I think that Mother Theresa said it best when she said "You cannot do large things, only small things with love."  Despite the fact that things do not appear to have changed on a large scale does not mean we should not still try to change the world for the better.  However perhaps our methods of changing the world are to grandiose, to ambitious.  Have we lost the humanity in development work? Have we become to caught up in the statistics, to caught up in the large numbers to remember that helping one person does indeed change the world for the better.  By helping one person you have indeed made a difference, you made the world of difference to the person you helped.  

It is like the starfish story by Loren Eisley (one of my favorite stories to this day).  

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.  Approaching the boy, her asked, "What are you doing?" The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean.  The surf is up and tide is going out.  If I don't throw them back, they'll die."  "Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!" After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw is back into the surf.  Then, smiling at the man, he said... "I made a difference for that one."  

It is extremely disappointing to realize that a problem we have been trying to work towards correcting for such a long time has not been fixed, but it is important to realize that a difference made in an individual life is extremely important too.  A difference made in one persons life can begin a chain of events of people helping people.  It is like in the movie Pay it Forward.  By helping individuals through acts of love and kindness a young boy was able to begin a chain reaction of people helping other people.  This is the kind of thing that makes a difference, it impacts individuals, creates community and fosters a sense of humanization and belonging.  When we help others through random act of kindness and with love in out hearts then it is a selfless act that can lead the betterment of the world.  We run into problems when we start to help people with strings attached, with conditions.  Helping people with strings attached is just another form of control.  It is one more thing strengthening the gap. 

We need to learn that we cannot do large things, only small things with love! Love is the one things that has the power to reverse to disastrous direction our world is heading in.  Love for one another and the world around us is the most powerful unifying force that recognizes humanity and looks for similarities to link us together rather then differences to separate us.  

Don't do nothing because you can't do everything.  Do something.  Anything.  

- Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

You may think that your actions are meaningless and that they won't help, but that is no excuse, you must still act. 

- Gandhi

Social Justice Leprosy

Lately I have been thinking a lot about social justice issues.  I have been challenged in my classes and in different areas of my personal life, but lately it has become clear to me that I, like so many others in the world, suffer from something I have decided to call social justice leprosy.  It is something that no one likes to admit, it is something that we try to keep close to us, something hidden inside.  No one likes to admit that they do not feel bad for those who are less fortunate.  No one wants to admit that they have feelings of anger in their heart, or even the feeling that they could hurt someone who is weaker then them.  I really liked that this point was discussed during the lecture at St Jerome's on Friday night.  It is so refreshing to realize how real Jean Vanier is.  He is totally open and honest about what he feels inside, even when it is scary.  After the lecture I began to reflect upon feelings that I have.  Feelings that do not match my strong belief in social justice and helping others.  I realize that I have become totally desensitized to the world around me.  The statistic of people having to live on less then a dollar a day no longer fazes me.  The number of people dying everyday from AIDS is indeed sad and disheartening, but the numbers are not pushing me into immediate action... why not?  How can I be so passive in a world where so many things are going wrong? Where there are so many people in need, so many who are left weak and vulnerable without any support? I have come to the conclusion that I am suffering from social justice leprosy.  

At this point you are probably asking yourself, "what is social justice leprosy?"  If you have never heard of it before that is probably because I just came up with it.  To be able to explain it you first must understand what leprosy is.  If you have ever been to church you probably know it as a disease that was well known back in biblical times.  Those who had it were shunned and seen as unclean.  The disease caused people to become disfigured with large parts of skin rotting and even falling off.  However, leprosy is not a skin disease, it is actually a disease of the nervous system.  When you have leprosy you simply are unable to feel a lot of things.  You get a small cut, cannot feel it and before you know it it has become infected.  A small "innocent" little cut can quickly turn into an infected and dangerous injury.  In this same way social justice leprosy comes when we no longer feel the pain of the world around us.  We have turned our backs on the needs of others in a way.  We have stopped being impacted.  We do not feel when the weak and vulnerable are neglected in society, we no longer notice when they are pushed to the margins.  By not noticing these "cuts" in society we allow them to grow, to increase and to engulf more people.  Social justice leprosy causes a numbness to the pain of the word and those around us.  It insulates us into our comfortable little secluded world and allows us to stay there.  However, I have decided I do not want to stay there.  I do not want to be numb anymore!  I do not want to be passive.  I want to be stirred up on the inside, I want to be angry and I want to be pushed to action.  I no longer want to have social justice leprosy.  It is going to hurt when the disease goes away.  My protective layer will disappear.  By curing my social justice leprosy I will feel the pain of the world.  

Well now that I have decided to work towards a cure to my social justice leprosy, how do I actually do this?  I am not sure of a direct treatment program, no doctor specializes in this area.  However, I do know that volunteering at the working center is having a large impact on this.  People are no longer just statistics.  Working at St. Johns kitchen I have been able to meet and connect with people who have been marginalized by society in our own backyard.  This summer when in Ghana I hope to have a multitude of new experiences that will also move me towards shedding my social justice leprosy and will push me towards action.  I want to meet the people who are at the other end of the statistic.  I no longer want to see numbers/faceless masses when I hear of people who are suffering.  I want to see people I know, people that I have come to consider friends, people I truly care about.  I do not want to be numb to the pain and suffering of others.  It will be uncomfortable, it will push me and it will hurt, but I want to work towards curing this unfortunate disease that all to many people suffer from.